Most arguments are not worth winning

I used to be confrontational.
Not that I especially wanted to create conflict, but like many (mostly young) people, I felt the need to be right. I had the urge to correct people.

If a discussion led to an argument, boy, did I want to win it.

I've done despicable things while trying to prove others wrong. And sometimes, they weren't even wrong.

And even when they were, what was I imagining? Would the other person give up and submit to my words? Would they apologize profusely and begin to admire me?

Worse, I've had countless arguments with people I truly care about. They sometimes led to us not talking to each other for a while. That's not okay.

Most arguments are not worth winning, and that's an understatement. What I really ought to say is that most arguments are not even worth having.

Of course, it's tough because our critical sense shuts off in the heat of the moment, and suddenly, some primal thinking system takes over. I must be right, or the tribe will reject me. Or something to that effect.

To avoid arguments with loved ones, we must learn to see the tide rising before it reaches us. We must develop the ducking habit, as surfers do, to let the wave pass above us.

And when we notice it too late and the argument has already started? We apologize and let the other person win. If need be.